Bring Back Big Families

My last post was about stress and one way which my family responds to it, which got me thinking a little broader: what exactly is stress?

Turns out, there’s actually a lot more to stress than I originally thought. A lot more.

So, naturally, the English teacher in me took over. Time for a little word study.

stress

/stres/

I know that’s a lot to unpack, and I know you probably didn’t read it (it’s ok. I’m a high school teacher and parent, remember? I am very used to people not doing what I expect them to do).

For our word study today, let’s focus on noun 2 and verb 3, shall we? (You can go back and read those two now. I’ll wait. But here’s a part of them in case you didn’t.)

noun 2. a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. “he’s obviously under a lot of stress”

“Adverse or demanding circumstances.” In other words, kids, man. Teacher = stress. Dad = stress. Seems like those should be added to the definition in some way.

verb 3. cause mental or emotional strain or tension in. “I avoid many of the things that used to stress me before”

“Cause mental or emotional strain or tension in.” Well, geez. That sort of sums up the life of a teacher and a parent, now doesn’t it?

I usually tell my students that stress is only as powerful as you let it be. If you choose to let it consume you, it will. Seems like a simple concept, but we all know it’s anything but.

I let it consume me sometimes, too. Very recently, it all built up and ruined a good portion of my weekend at home. I felt trapped, or, rather, it felt trapped. It had all built up and just about burst inside me. I don’t fully know why or even what it was that was really eating me up, but I let the stress get the better of me. And I know it wasn’t healthy.

After it all passed over, I realized it was really stupid to let it ruin my only real free time the way I did. I knew the stress came from work and being overwhelmed by everything there. I also let home stuff mingle with that, and I think that’s really where I messed up. I’m normally good at compartmentalizing. But that weekend, for whatever reason, I didn’t and couldn’t. And it was no one’s fault but my own.

I had broken my own rule. I mentally brought work home with me. I know I’m not immune to it, but I also know I know better. I needed to be able to let it go.

Easier said than done, I know. But life is too short to let stress ruin it. We usually can’t control where the stress is coming from, but we sure as heck can control how we respond to it.

I don’t have the answers for you on how to do that because stress and our reactions to it look different for everybody. You have to find a way to do it for yourself as a parent because nothing good comes from holding it all in. You have to be able to find a way to….

You had to have known that was coming.

So how do you handle stress as a parent? Any tips for the rest of us? Leave it in the comments below!