Bring Back Big Families

“The way we talk to children becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara

I ran across this quote just today. I’m not sure how I hadn’t seen it before, but it hit me kind of hard because I realized that virtually all I do all day long is talk to kids.

When I wake my kids up in the morning, I realized that my voice is usually the first one they hear. When I get to school, my students may not hear only my voice, but they certainly hear my voice every day. When my kids go to bed, I’m almost always there with them, and my voice is the last voice they hear that day.

What a tremendous blessing. And perhaps an even more tremendous responsibility.

It’s a reminder to make sure that the voice I use with them is the same voice I want them to use for themselves. And not just the voice, but the words, as well.

As an English teacher, I understand the power of a single word, especially when it comes to children. They’re so much more perceptive than we give them credit for. One single word can change the way they see us or themselves or others or maybe even the whole world. Perhaps mildly hyperbolic, but perhaps not.

As parents, we’re going to lose our tempers. We’re going to have bad days. We’re going to inadvertently take that out on our kids. We’re going to make mistakes and say things to our kids that we regret. It’s only natural. It’s human. It’s going to happen.

But it’s also our responsibility to make sure that the way we speak to (and about) our kids sets them on a path to success, not failure. Kids are listening. Even when they’re not listening, they still hear you. It may not seem like it at the time, but they do.

Every time we talk to them, it matters.

Everything we say to them matters.

Every time we say something negative to them (or even about them), it matters.

Every word we say to kids matters.

A lot.

We have to make sure we understand that and use every moment we can to build them up and not tear them down. I know that’s cliché; but just because it’s cliché doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

So that’s the challenge today. And it’s not just for parents. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, caregivers, teachers, anyone who is around kids: use your words to lift them up, every day, every chance you get.