Bring Back Big Families

Random Musings #22

Saw this causing some stink on X and I couldn’t resist the chance to say something.

Come on. “Low-key an inconvenience” that society won’t admit?

That’s not bold or unpopular. It’s just the kind of edgy-sounding quip people toss out on X when they want likes from others who also don’t have kids yet, or who regret theirs and need validation.

Everyone with children knows there are hard parts. The sleepless nights, the money never seeming to be enough, the loss of selfish freedoms, the constant messes. Lots of parents (too many, if you ask me) complain about it all the time, openly, loudly, in group chats, on Instagram and X, and on playdates and therapy sessions. Nobody’s hiding that stuff.

What you’re calling “society hates admitting” is actually just you not wanting to hear the rest of the story: that for most of us, the meaning, the love, the pride, the long-term fulfillment far outweigh the hassles. Research even backs this up, with parents tending to report higher overall life satisfaction, and they gain a built-in network of connection that childfree people often have to work harder to build (you can read the study here if you’d like. It’s quite interesting for lots of reasons).

So no, we’re not in denial. We’re just not reducing one of the deepest human experiences to a smug little complaint. If kids feel like an inconvenience to you, that’s fine, don’t have them. But don’t pretend the rest of us are lying to ourselves about why we do.

3 responses to “Random Musings #22”

  1. Mr. H Avatar
    Mr. H

    I couldn’t help myself with this one. It angered me a little, if you couldn’t tell.

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  2. Mama Avatar
    Mama

    I fully agree with you on this one, it’s a bit infuriating, but when you said they do it for validation and likes, that’s really true. I often wonder if these people truly believe the things they say or if they just say it for social media popularity. In my opinion, everyone has a choice whether they want kids or not, but I can say with my entire heart that having kids was the biggest accomplishment and blessing in my life. Even through the hard times!

    So thank you for posting this, I’m glad my husband and I aren’t the only ones who feel this way!

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    1. Mr. H Avatar
      Mr. H

      Absolutely spot on. Likewise, my six are the best choice I’ve ever made. Are they always easy? No way. But I’ve never considered them an inconvenience. That’s incredibly tasteless.

      And I think it’s a mix of both, honestly, some who use purposeful needling knowing people will engage, and some who truly believe what they say. I got into a discussion with someone on X who said there was “no personal gain” from having kids, even for his own parents when I asked him if he realized he was once that “inconvenience” he was talking about. His whole argument eventually hinged on him saying his parents could be better off financially now if he hadn’t been around. I was blown away by how utterly ridiculous what he said was. But I do think he believed it, to some degree anyway, even if he was just angling for likes. It’s a crazy thing to think people really view children, even themselves as children, that way.

      And no, you are not alone. Some of us really actually enjoy our children and see them how they’re supposed to be seen!

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